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Roll Up, Roll Up: Get Your Free Suit In Rome

Jun 22, 2009  - Craig Lord

Roll-up, roll-up, for every suit is free. Ask and it shall be given. Availability is FINA's watchword and defense in Rome at the world championships, and suit makers are happy to meet the rules and conditions of the event. 

The way forward for swimmers and coaches in search of fairness and level-playing fields is then very clear, though look aware suit makers if you happen to be of nervous disposition or uncertain about your stocks.

Picture the scene. Rome, July 22, say, and teams from the USA, Germany, Britain, Australia, the Netherlands, Russia and Poland all turn up at the same time outside the suits room where makers must have their wares available in all sizes and fits and in numbers too large to count. 

Can't get all those swimmer in a room, so the head coaches of the teams walk hand in hand into the suits room and approach the Jaked desk: a suit in the following sixes and cuts please for each of our swimmers. Next stop, the Descente desk: same demand. And so on and so forth, with some splinter groups breaking off to approach Speedo (no need to USA, AUS, GBR, NED etc) or Arena (no need for Russia and several others), and all the other dozens of manufacturers with a vast range of suits on the approved list.

Only fair for swimmers to be able to try out the kit in the interests of fair competition. Only fair that the entire national teams of USA, AUS, GBR, NED, RUS, and on and on and on, should get to try out the red-hot poker and all those other suits heading for extinction in the not-too-distant future.

Later the same day, swimmer arrives in suit room: "What? You haven't got one in my specific size in the cut I want? Not available? Right. Well, I guess that means that FINA has to remove that suit from the championship then because all suits must be available to all swimmers. Yes, that's right, all 1,200 plus of us. All suits available to all swimmers in all sizes and cuts, that's what they said. I just want the pants and the full body, if that's ok."

Suit maker, laughing nervously: "Well, that would be asking too much. I mean, that would be over a million dollars of stock for each suit maker if you all wanted a couple of suits all at the same time."

Swimmer: "Yes. But if you can't do that, I'm afraid I'm going to have to report this grave matter to FINA and have you and your suits disqualified."

In Beijing, three Olympic finalists approached SwimNews to tell us that Speedo did not make a LZR to fit their proportions. I guess that makes the suit not really available to all. Watch then for people who are not made in standard size.

And all this supposedly on the basis of a decision taken to help suit makers clear stock? Madness. Caveat Emptor on all of these suits. Do not buy what will not be allowed tomorrow, for it will be available free of charge at any FINA meet between now and extinction, be that in 2010 for some or 2011, perhaps, for others. 

Not wishing to pick on any particular culprit in this whole sorry mess but blueseventy put out a press release. In it, B70 ceo, SteveNicholls, let it be known that FINA's open water partner will not now be seeking legal redress in court: "Prior to the latest announcement by FINA, blueseventy had consulted Lawyers to get an injunction against the decision. On consultation with FINA they encouraged us to instead go through their own review process which we have done."

He also said: "The most important thing is that swimmers now know where they stand and have a choice about what suit they can wear." No Steve, they don't. That's the point. Many swimmers, in case you were not aware, are under contract through their federation. Some have choice, others do not. Unless you wish to replace their $10,000 or $40,000 (or even up to a million) of private funding by placing a cheque inside the bag with their free suit.